Looking At Me
by Pleasing.the.Yaoi.Gods
Summary: Thor wants to show Loki how beautiful Midgard can be at night so he takes him for a drive by the sea. Loki is troubled by how Thor isn't looking at him. Implied character death.


Let me show you this land that I love, you tell me. We are so far from home tonight but that is alright because it is no longer my home, only yours but you have brought me here, this world that you have claimed as your own and you're sharing it with me. You are smiling at me and while I am looking away, sneering at your need to show me this unworthy place I cannot help but feel slightly pleased that you want to share it with me.

That woman has taught you how to drive this vehicle the humans use to get around. You laugh as you open the door for me, telling me all about the summer days you and she spent driving around, the sun and the wind apparently just so perfect. I hate seeing you so happy because of this. Happy because of someone other than me.

I finally get in, sneering that I could care less about you and that woman, but you do not take my words to heart and get into the other seat. You stick something into the car, twist it, and suddenly it comes to life. I cannot help but flinch a bit and you laugh at me, slapping me on the back and saying that I need not be scared for I am with you. I frown, and yet I am enjoying your hand touching me.

The moon is out and the roads which we take are winding around a great mountain. The sea is beneath us and you prattle on about those "heroes" of yours and how you look forward to showing them how behaved I become. I cross my arms and grumble. Why must you be so forgiving of me? Why must you have so much trust in me.

Halfway through you look over at me, a daring look in your eyes and tell me that you are going to take the roof away. Why would you want to do that, I demand, but you just laugh and press a button and the roof indeed moves, disappearing behind us.

The wind is fierce and my hair is whipping most viciously about my face. The air full of the harsh scent of the sea below, and over the roar of the wind I can hear the crashing of waves against the mountain on which we travel, and over that I can hear you. Laughing, and I look over at you, but you are not looking at me.

I frown and turn my gaze towards the stars. The vast black sky, full of stars that make my heart ache thinking of home. No Loki, I tell myself. I have no home. There is no place in this universe for me. No one wants me. There is no home, anymore, for me.

Except...

You look so carefree and I am envious. It isn't me that it causing that smile is it? You're just happy to be here, on your precious Midgard, aren't you? My presence has nothing to do with that upturn of your too tempting lips. Suddenly it is not OK. I cannot tolerate you smiling, and not at me.

Above are the stars and a daring thought enters my mind, constricting my chest. I want you looking at me. I want you absorbed in me.

You speak of how lovely Midgard is, and you give me room to agree, but I am silent. Looking only at the stars, thinking of what once was, thinking of you and how I want you to be thinking about me.

I stand up, and the car jerks slightly, almost as if my unannounced movement causes a reflex in you to flinch. I flinch. Why can you not trust me?

You demand to know what I am doing and one strong arm wraps itself around my legs, bidding me to sit back down. I refuse, and you are still not even looking at me.

I am standing above you and yet looking down at you. Desperate. Still, only one arm holds on, and that is not enough to let me know that you need me to stay. I pretend to try to release myself from your hold and so you abandon all reason and grab me, pulling me back to you, and now both of your arms are wrapped tightly around me.

Suddenly we are closer to the stars,closer to a place we both once called home, and then we are plunging down to this place you wish to give me as a new home. Here we'll get lost in the sea, but I have no cares for any of that now because you are finally looking, looking at me.


End file.
